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our park play date.

We set the day.

Marking our calendars and checking the weather, this was important beyond belief. We had plans. The big occasion ? We were having a picnic date and yours truly was tickled to pieces.

If you know me personally, you know I’m a work-aholic. I stay up too late and drink waaayyyy too much coffee. I love my french press as though it were my own prized set of keys to a world of productivity and completion. And don’t even get me started on the selection of coffee creamers at Kroger. I could go on for hours..

I had prepared myself for this big date picnic for days. Shuffling through emails and flying through my to-do list like nobody’s business. I edited photos and filed them away with lightning speed. And as always, my coffee consumption was at an all-time high.

 

My motivation?

This dude…

 

 

(So, I just could not help myself in adding this photo. This is the VERY first picture I ever took of BD with my new pro camera. See that old logo? Yup, from the VERY beginning of my business. So awesome.)

He’s been there since my photo biz’s very first start…

This is the guy who sat on the couch behind me while I edited countless sessions on the coffee table during our movie night. This is the guy who arrived early with me to hang picture frames from branches before a session. This is the guy who listens to my talk about  every last success and failure when it comes to pictures.

Sappy? I hope not. But if so, that’s totally okay with me.

He listens to me talk about work more so than any significant other should rightly have to. I talk. A lot. I talk about wanting to talk about something. I blame it on the coffee.

The point being… I needed to stop. Stop producing. Stop moving. Stop running at a speed of 101 mph. At this pace, I would wake up in 5 years and wonder where all the time went. I needed to stop and smell the roses, or in our case– dogwood trees.

It was a park kinda day, and I was superbly happy. I had my to-do list tucked away neatly under the right corner of my computer. It’s completion was noted with big toothy smily face at the bottom. As I grabbed our things to walk out the door, I looked at it and laughed. My drawn art really stinks.

The day was perfect. Huge cumulus clouds decorated the sky like fluffy cotton balls. They were so whimsically wonderful that I wished I could catapult a million miles and lounge on one for the afternoon.

We laid out our blanket and stared at the most beautiful Great Dane I have yet to see. The owner said this pretty pup was of the Euro kind and only 2 years old, but of course this giant breed of a dog was massive. I have wanted one of these beauties for many years now. I still promise myself that one day, when I’m ready, I’ll have one of my own.

 

One day.

 

We watched at this Great Dane  towered over the child who tagged along with his parents while the four of them had their own little park play date.

Sometimes I people watch. Well, I people watch a lot. I can’t help it. I freakin’ love it. If BD and I people watch together, he’ll usually pull out one of his many accents and tell me what’s going on. In most cases, I think he’s right.

So we were people watching. Staring. In complete silence.

He didn’t comment with one of his comedic accents.

Their dialogue a mystery to us both.

We didn’t talk for a while.

I spoke first, Isn’t it weird to watch people and feel like they’re living out a life you’d imagined for yourself?

The family, the dog, the picture perfect day. The huge clouds and the urgency to do absolutely nothing but enjoy spending their time together.

He grabbed my hand, It’s okay, babe. We’ll get there.

I think there’s something about growing up and figuring out your life. For me personally, it’s a big fat question mark. I’m pursuing a passion and hoping people will want my images for their own. I’m developing a style in my work that I love… and just hoping others love it too. I am fueling my creative juices and photographing couples in questionable places– dilapidated houses and the like.

Sometimes though, I feel like all the things I thought I would have at my age: the house, the dog, the beginning of this storybook life.. have been put on hold for awhile.

The reason I know to be this. This passion. This love for this art that makes me lose sleep and wake up at midnight with a mind scouring through countless ideas. The desire to succeed has put me in a fast-moving world of new computer programs and immediate social media. It’s changing at lightning speed- the newest is never the newest for long, and the latest invention is succeeded in a matter of months. I was pumped about finally getting Lightroom 3, only to be notified by Adorama a few weeks later that Lightroom 4 is now sweeping the market. Really?? I mean I know I was behind on the times with numero tres, but jeeeeez.

When I started, I had no clue of what I was getting into. It’s a mixture of a mountainous workload and fire to follow my dream that leaves me exhausted but motivated to keep on chugging. It’s the craziest recipe of emotions I have yet to experience.

It’s been one wild ride so far, but it’s rockin’ my world.

Watching the family, I realized how life’s journey has no end. We’re all waking up each day having no clue what the rest of it holds, and continuing on in the hopes that we’re all following the trail we’re supposed to be. Nobody’s life has a timeline (as much as we think it does when we’re young. Yes, I was one of those girls who could tell ya what age she would graduate college, start a career, get married, have kids, and purchase her first Great Dane  : ) .. I know there’s more of you ladies out there!)

I guess this is my way of saying see ya! to that oh-so-important schedule for my life. Get outta here, dude.

I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda chick,always.  Not knowing when is this big box with a bow that keeps us appreciating each day more and more.

I’m a lover of life, and this whole park play date kinda reminded me why.

Oh yes! Almost forgot the best part. Pictures for my lovely peeps…

That was before the big ole storm rolled in! Loved this day more than anything.

.jessie.

 

 

Jessica Diedrich - April 30, 2012 - 7:23 pm

You and I have a lot more in common than just our name, chicky :) I was totally that girl, and actually did have it all figured out at 25, only to come to find out that at 35, while I have the family, the dog, the house, etc., it’s still way more fun to fly by the seat of your pants. Kids and dogs won’t get in the way of that if you’re a free spirit which it sounds like you definitely are. I think you are amazing and I am envious that you are a whole 10 years younger than me to keep living that spontaneity and that you’ve figured out a lot of things I’ve only come to know in the past year or so. Life is to be loved-and I love that you are going out there and grabbing that! :)

Jessica Diedrich - April 30, 2012 - 7:25 pm

whoa- ok, I just read that and it totally sounded wrong, HAHA! I didn’t mean it’s NOT fun to have the family and the kids and dog- I meant, it’s fun to have them AND still be able to fly by the seat of our pants, LOL! Just wanted to clarify that before someone read it and went wow, what an ingrate, ha!

Jessie - May 3, 2012 - 2:00 pm

haha ! I gotcha :) Thanks so much for the support and sweet words, Jessica and thanks for reading!

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